A year

A year from tomorrow I could hardly move. It was quite the feat trying to get out of bed and I remember the pain clearly. I called my doctors office from my bed and was almost in tears on the phone saying that I couldn't move and that something was not right. Within an hour my doctor called me back and agreed to meet me at the clinic later that day.

It was my mother in laws birthday that day and we were all supposed to go to Canton and have a nice dinner out.....well God had a different plan for me. When I got to the doctor I had a fever and my heart rate was 118 beats per minute. My mom had to push me in a wheelchair because my knees were so swollen that I literally could not walk. So in walked the doctor and took one look and me and said she would be back in a few minutes. She returned with the attending who both agreed that I needed to be admitted.......

After 4 nights in the hospital and literally 1oo vials of blood drawn, a beyond scary tachycardia event, long needles going into my knees to drain the fluid (a few times), and biopsy that still needed to be completed to rule out lymphoma, I was released home in the care of my loving husband and family. I was discharged New Year's Eve. Celebrated ringing in the New Year fast asleep by 10pm :o)

Since then, I PRAISE God that the lymphoma scare was brought to nothing and the suspicious lymph node returned to regular size on its own and that I have not had any other heart episodes where my heart races uncontrollable (still is the scariest moment that has ever happened to me to date.)

A year later, we are still not really sure what my vasculitis is a result of and are still trying to figure everything out. We do know that I have managed over the last year, sometimes well and sometimes not so well. I have been on oodles of medications including high doses of steroids and injection medications to treat Rheumatoid Arthritis. I have been called by nurses telling me to stop the medications because it caused my liver enzymes to sky rocket, etc. I have seen the rheumatology doctors more than I care to admit. And the amount of times I have had to have bloodwork done over the past year or leave a urine sample is sickening. But at the end of the day I have a new normal.

And a year later I am OKAY...... I thank God for the strength he has given me to get out of bed to take care of my boys when I didn't really want to, to give me the strength to not be mad about my disease/disorder and still realize how truly blessed I am.

It seems this little autoimmune disorder that was only supposed to last a year is here to stay, at least for a while longer yet.....we are still praying for a complete recovery and for the nastiness of the disease to stop rearing its ugly head.

365 days is a long time, but I did it, made it a whole year with surviving and learning to live my life a little differently then I had planned. It's okay though because I know how lucky I am, how fortunate I am and how blessed I am. I have my boys and an awesome family.... .that's all that I need.

I'm praying that 2012 will provide more answers and less medications and hopefully be my year of being healed.