another random post.....

not too much to write or say this morning.............i promise for those of you who don't want to read my heavier posts that i will be posting pics/stories of the boys soon.

a funny story is going to be at the end of this post, i promise! but for now here are my thoughts and feelings for the last week and a half. i can tell you that i'm not proud of how i've acted or responded to my boys and kris the past few weeks. i have a heavy heart and it is my goal and desire to work on my relationships with those i love the most.

**Side Note**
my parents have been on vacation for the last week and a half......Kris' mom has been tied up with Kris' grandma who is recovering from back surgery and Kris has been working long hours as usual and not getting home until after the boys are in bed or only has about a half hour to an hour before their bed time. so needless to say the past almost two weeks have been really trying for me as a mom. i have become "comfortable" with the help that i receive from my awesome support system, so after going it alone for almost two weeks i feel like i am ten steps away of my goal at becoming a better mom and a better wife.

of course it hasn't helped that i am not sleeping and that i haven't been feeling 100% despite all of the new/increased medication i have been taking. and also the fact that i have a big report due at work hasn't helped either. i feel defeated again and i hate feeling defeated. i need to stay strong for my boys and my husband. i need them to know that i am okay on the outside and can maintain my "super woman" status as my mom would say. i need them to see that i can still work, cook, clean, do laundry, take out the trash, pay the bills, etc....in other words them being able to physically see me do these things makes me feel less defeated, like everything will be okay someday in terms of my health even if it isn't now. you see i don't want Owen or Wyatt or Kris to remember this time of my life when all i did or wanted to do was complain at how bad i feel and lay in bed all day.....and i'm terrified that if i admit defeat that i will end up 20 steps back and not be able to HANDLE everything like i can now.

So my parents are HOME, yay! And I think that Kris' mom is going to be able to take the kids again one day during the week (hopefully this coming week), and Kris has his spring break in a week so he will be home for a whole week. so needless to say things are looking bright again, thank God! We are going to a water park with the boys and I am so excited for our little vacation after being so physically and emotionally drained lately!

Funny Story Alert!
After hearing about how much I was struggling with Owen and Wyatt this week my parents came and took the boys ALL day yesterday. they made me promise that i wouldn't work and that i would take a nap and have some "me time". Me time is what i did and it was AMAZING!!

I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday to make sure that the new meds I'm on are not affecting my vision so after the appointment i headed over to my parents to see how things were going.

While there Owen came into the dining room and was talking to nana and playing with some toys. He had just gotten done painting a Thomas picture on the computer and was asking my mom to please go print it off for him, to which my mom responded that it "was going to cost him" in other words she would print it off for him but he had to give her a kiss. he didn't understand what she was talking about so when she said "yes Owen I will go upstairs and print off your Thomas picture for you but first it's going to cost you." His response was "seven dollars??" with the most serious look on his face!

It was the cutest, funniest thing that I have seen in a while! Enjoy my little boys innocence! He is so stink'n cute!

Food for Thought

Well, here is my first "food for thought" post. Yahoo is set as my Internet browser, so often times before I check my email I take a glance at all of the news/updates that flash across the computer screen and try my best to stay on top of what is going on in the world.

This morning I just had to laugh about this WEB BUZZ sensation making Yahoo's top news story today.

Jennifer Lopez who is a judge on American Idol apparently broke down on last nights show and cried with America saying "I don't want to do this anymore." I don't watch the show but I'm figuring that a STAR/IDOL that she liked was being voted off and it was very hard with her to part with that fact.

So- in a third world across the country I learned last night in my Becoming a Better Samaritan class at church that approximately 25 million people are affected by the AIDS/HIV pandemic. Most are unable to either afford any treatment or live too far away from a clinic or hospital to obtain the treatment that they need. There are almost 3 million children who have AIDS/HIV and out of those children, 25,000 children die each day from the disease equivalent to 100 jet liners carrying 250 passengers each crashing onto US soil or any soil for that matter.

I'm not trying to be a downer by any means, just find it ironic that though I knew about the AIDS/HIV pandemic, I never was exposed to the numbers of children and people it affected. And here in America, we are caught up in our own IDOLS per say, American Idols, who make Yahoo and top website news stories on a daily basis.

I struggled with the idea of the pandemic last night, I don't really know what I personally can do about it but the bottom line/lesson learned in our class is that everyone needs to be loved and touched in a way that they know that God is good and that there is a far better alternative life for them in eternity.

Take it for what it's worth, again I'm not saying that I instantly became an advocate for AIDS awareness by any means...and I most certainly am not going to jump on the next plane to Africa to witness to any people affected by this pandemic. I simply am going to try to do what I can in my community, in my neighborhood, helping those who are in need of touch. We are to act everyday as Jesus himself. Christ has no visibility on earth but through my hands, feet, arms, legs, face, we make him visible and in turn can touch those in need. We need to touch the greatest gifts that God made, human beings.

I guess my point is that if everyone who watched American Idol or other reality TV shows and shed tears over "so and so got voted off" for whatever reason......don't you think our world would be a better place to live if people actually shed tears over what REALLY matters in life? I do......

Awake

Well as usual I can't seem to sleep. I've been taking my last (the lowest amount of steroids for the day) right before bed combined with my pain pills. Without fail I fall asleep like a baby and am up exactly 2 hours later almost on the nose! When I wake up I can't fall back to sleep for the life of me. The last three nights I have been waking up with my knees just throbbing, a dull annoying constant throb. My ankle bones on both feet have also been super sore to walk on in the middle of the night (noticed during potty trips). It is weird to say the least! When I was in the hospital I was given steroid injections in both knees and didn't expect to have any issues with either of them for at least three months. But it seems we are back to my body not really knowing what to do and fighting against itself. I will probably put a message into my doctor this morning if I'm not feeling better in a few hours. (Side Note- I am thankful that I can use my hands and arms this go around, that proves to be most difficult for me when they are inflamed. But then again when my legs (knees and ankles) are sore it proves challenging to bend down to do things with Wyatt (change diapers, pick up toys, etc) So I guess all in all it is still annoying!)

One thing that concerns me is that the steroids overtime can cause osteoporosis and fractures become quite common. I have been on steroids now for almost 8 months, increasing and decreasing strengths as necessary and I'm a little fearful that the steroids are doing more damage to my body/bones, though they are helping me to manage my symptoms and discomfort due to inflammation. I guess as always it is a win and lose situation.

On Sunday my boss offered me more hours....still all from home. I told her that I would try the new part of the job that she asked me to do all of this week and then I would let her know. Since I don't sleep I have been working in the middle of the night. The last two mornings it has been around 4am and this morning about 130am.

Surprisingly enough I don't mind it....is is the ONLY time all day that I am all by myself and the house is dark and quiet. I can get my work done without background noise and without Wyatt crawling up on me and trying to eat my pens and notepads.....and Owen running over to me (usually when I am trying to make a work call) telling me that he has to poop, loud enough for the neighborhood to hear!

Wyatt has been getting up about once in the middle of the night and I feed him and change his diaper and then he goes back to sleep for me....he is such a good boy!

The only downfall to my not being able to sleep is that I am 100% exhausted during the day...It is actually quite weird that I just realized that my sleeping patterns are that of an infant right now. I am completely wired right now, but just want to sleep all day long. Hmmmm....maybe I should address this with my doctor......

I started my methotrexate last week Thursday and haven't really noticed anything, especially since I have been waking up with radiating pain and sore ankles the last few days. I have to do another injection tomorrow night....or rather Kris will inject me. I probably could do it if need be, but whenever I am at the lab I never look at the needle so it is just easier for him to do it and he doesn't mind! After all I probably deserve a little pain from him every once in a while for all he puts up with from me!

So- this is just a completely random post of my thoughts and feelings this morning. I have been good at reading my Bible and my mother in law came up with a nice routine for me to follow. I am hoping to start a class at our church when I take Owen to his class during the week. It is called "becoming a good Samaritan." I am really interested in it. Don't get me wrong I think that I am a good person and a good Samaritan already, however am eager to learn about God's word and be able to use it to better influence myself to become a better Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.....all of the things I am finding so important now in my life! It's like a light went on and I knew that I needed a change. Maybe not a light but a beacon of hope, a gift from God...an answer to prayer!

My new car

Let me start by saying that my blog is never intended as a brag session, however I would like to eventually use my blog to look back and remember all of the things that happened over the months and years and eventually print and bind a book together for the boys! So with that being said this is my new car.

Almost a year ago we weren't sure what my work situation would be since I was pregnant with Wyatt and I again knew that I wanted to stay home with him....I suppose WANT isn't a good word to use....it was a necessity. There would be no other way about it! So after leasing a nice Lincoln since Owen was a baby, and spending WAY too much money on a car payment.....we decided the best option for our family would be to buy something we could pay cash for and put some money into. We found a 2003 Explorer XLT that was a stolen recovery vehicle. This car had many issues including some minor body damage and had basically been stripped, however for $1,500 it was right up our alley and Kris was up for the challenge.

Fast forward almost 6 months...it turns out that our debt free car was not so debt free as it seemed. There was always a little money here and a little money there being put back into it. We got to the point this week where we decided we could continue putting money into it and still not have any guarantee of how long it would last...OR we could try to find a nice family car for myself to drive with the boys that would be a reliable alternative. I'm happy to say that we found a great deal on this Mazda 6. IT doesn't have all of the frills and thrills of vehicles I have driven in the past, however it is a really sharp car for the price.

So needless to say as we were about to pull out of the dealership Kris snapped this picture of me in my new ride! We are hoping and praying for a nice reliable car from this point forward. It is a lease so if we don't like it, we aren't committed to it for more then 3 years!

Owen, oh Owen!

We have been having some issues with getting Owen to go to bed at "bed time" recently. He seems to want to stay awake all night and after we go through his bed time routine every night, usually without fail he is wandering downstairs several times saying that he is hungry or thirsty or hot or cold or can't sleep, and the list goes on and on and on!!! We usually end up getting frustrated with him and "threaten" time-outs, etc if he comes downstairs again. So usually when Kris and I head up for the night this is how we find him. He continues to be our sassy little stinker! However I do have to admit that he did look extremely comfortable! Kudos to him for his creativity!

Good Times!

The most recent picture of Kris with the boys! Wyatt is getting SO big and in fact he even took 3-4 steps all by himself over the weekend. We are excited for this new phase of Wyatt's life, even though we realize we will be busy chasing him around. Owen continues to amaze us with his love for his brother! Kris and I are so proud and in love with both of our boys! Here is an oldie but goodie picture I found while going through my camera! I love this picture of Kris and myself!

Thank You!

Thank you to all of you who voted for the picture I submitted to the blog contest for the Christmas Outtake contest. After a stressful 5 days of checking the blog like a crazy woman, I am happy to say that WE WON!!

I honestly couldn't have done it without your help! And I think only two of you voted because you saw my blog, so thanks so much!!!

Check back soon for the photo session pics...hopefully I will be able to get a sneak peak on here if possible.

Now gotta start shopping for some trendy outfits for the boys and a swanky outfit for me for our photo shoot!

Thanks again! Love to All!

REMEMBER TO VOTE, PLEASE!

We are currently in 1st place for the photo contest..... but please remember you can vote daily and you can tell all of your friends and family to go and vote too.....can you tell I really want to win?? THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE SO GRACIOUSLY VOTED FOR MY PICTURE SO FAR AND TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY DAY TO DO SO. Voting closes at 6pm on Sunday.

It is very simple.....just got to http://www.thomgirlphoto.com/

Click on BLOG at the bottom of the screen in the middle and respond to any of the current posts that you would like to vote for #1. The picture above is the one I submitted for the contest.

Below is more detailed information about the contest.

Thanks again!

UPDATE on Blog contest....PLEASE VOTE TODAY

****UPDATE****

We are currently in 1st place for the photo contest..... but please remember you can vote daily and you can tell all of your friends and family to go and vote too.....can you tell I really want to win?? THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE SO GRACIOUSLY VOTED FOR MY PICTURE SO FAR AND TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR BUSY DAY TO DO SO. Voting closes at 6pm on Sunday.

If you're just checking my blog today here is the information:

I entered a photo contest....It is a Christmas outtake contest where you submit your picture of a picture that turned out well, pretty badly! The picture I entered is #1 and is of Julie (my sister) and Owen and Wyatt and my two nephews.
IF you want to help us out please go to:http://www.thomgirlphoto.com/
Click on blog and then you can go to the contest entry. There are 6 total pictures submitted. My picture is in the lead so far with 37 votes!! You can vote once per day and it is tracked by IP address. Please tell your friends and family to vote too, if they know us they will help me to win a free sitting fee and a 16x20 print.Thanks everyone in advance! I hope my picture wins....I think it stands a good chance!
Have a great day!Jill

I need your help faithful blog readers.....

I entered a photo contest....It is a Christmas outtake contest where you submit your picture of a picture that turned out well, pretty badly! The picture I entered is #1 and is of Julie (my sister) and Owen and Wyatt and my two nephews.

IF you want to help us out please go to:

http://www.thomgirlphoto.com/

Click on blog and then you can go to the contest entry. There are 6 total pictures submitted. My picture is in the lead so far with 9 votes!! You can vote once per day and it is tracked by IP address. Please tell your friends and family to vote too, if they know us they will help me to win a free sitting fee and a 16x20 print.

Thanks everyone in advance! I hope my picture wins....I think it stands a good chance!

Have a great day!
Jill

Wyatt 9 months

Here is my sweet baby boy at 9 months! He had his 9 month check up yesterday and here are his stats:

Weight- 20 lbs 4 ounces (44%)
Height - 31 inches (98%)
HC - 18 inches (62%)

Owen at 9 months was:
Weight - 19 lbs 8 ounces
Height -28.5 inches

Kris at 9 months was:
Weight - 22 lbs
Height -3o.25 inches

Grammy and the boys

We visited Kris' grandma tonight at the hospital and I couldn't help but take a few pics of the boys while there. Grammy and her boys! They love her so much and she loves them so much! It is always so fun to see them together!!

Happy Valentine's Day 2011

So I agree that these aren't the most glorious photos of my boys but I had a really bad day today and by the time I remembered that I said that I would post pictures of them it was dinner time and they were tired and dirty! Oh well, at least I remembered and can document Valentine's Day 2011!!

Hope you all had a great day today! Kris' grandma had back surgery today and did great....I didn't have a chance to go and visit her today however will try to go up tomorrow. We are praying that she will recovery quickly and that she will feel great once completely healed. She is such a young, hip great grandma to Owen and Wyatt and it will be nice to know that she is feeling better.

My boys

Kris' mom made a fantastic Valentine's Day meal and had us all over on Saturday night for dinner. I had a rough day Saturday after increasing some of my new meds and not being able to take my prescription anti-inflammatory or any over the counter anti-inflammatory medication (due to the fact that they can affect your kidneys) so needless to say I felt horrible. I spent the good part of the day in bed but finally decided it would do me no good to stay home alone (and have to make my own dinner), so I mustered up the energy and took a shower and went to Canton with Kris and the boys! I'm so glad I did! My in-laws are amazing hosts and as always we had a wonderful time. My father-in-law and mother-in-law even gave the boys a much needed bath and got them all lotioned up and in their PJ's so they were ready for the way home to fall asleep in the car. Thanks to my mother-in-law for taking this picture of me and Wyatt. I realize I look really sleepy (I think Wyatt actually looks more sleepy) - but I'm so happy that I have a nice picture of me and my baby! He is such a good boy....I'm going to try to get better about mommy and me pictures with the boys! Thanks again to my in-laws for their help and support on Saturday night, wouldn't have been the same without their hospitality, kindness and love!
Kris took this picture just a few hours ago when we went upstairs to go to bed. It's nights like these that make me nervous.....Owen was told many times tonight not to sleep in the hallway, let alone so close to the stairs.....but since he is such a "good listener".... ended up like this! Thankfully we didn't have a stair emergency and have to take him in to get checked out! He didn't even make a peep when Kris carried him back in his bed! Yes, this would be our stubborn child, but man oh man is he ever a smooth talker and charmer when needed!

My new Netbook

This is my same netbook that I've had for a few years now but a new improved version. While in Frankenmuth yesterday I found this Vera Bradley laptop skin on clearance at one of my favorite stores. Kris stayed up late last night putting it on my netbook for me. I love it! Just adds a little splash, okay let's be honest, a big splash of color, to my laptop! Now work should be fun, right???? Okay, maybe not! But hey it is pretty cool!

Kris and I celebrated Valentine's Day a day early

Kris works ALL DAY LONG tomorrow so we had a really nice opportunity to celebrate a day early. After church my parents took the boys back to their house and Kris and I headed to Frankenmuth. While in Frankenmuth Kris went to a toy store downtown and bought the boys a Valentine's Day gift. A box of Jumbo Cardboard Blocks. Kris said that he and his brother had these as kids and as soon as he saw them in the store he knew that this was THE gift for Owen and Wyatt. Unfortunately Wyatt was pooped when we got home so he went straight to bed, but Owen on the other hand has been playing for a good hour with these blocks and seems to really enjoy them. He keeps saying over and over "thanks daddy, thanks momma for my blocks! I love you so much!" It is so sweet! He is adorable! Much thanks to my parents for watching the boys so that we could enjoy some alone time today. Kris and I don't usually get to do much stuff alone and don't get me wrong we love spending our time together as a family.....but it was just very peaceful and quiet today...which was a really nice change of pace for us. Here is a picture of Kris and I eating an early dinner at the Frankenmuth Brewery. Caesar salad, brie encrusted sirloin and for desert Kris had creme brulee cheesecake and I had strawberry shortcake. It was very good!

Every time we dine at the brewery Kris always orders the beer sampler. He really enjoys it so I always try to take a picture of him with ALL of the beer in front of him. Also in the picture above notice the two growlers that he takes in every time we go there and he gets them filled with his favorite beer. It is a really cool atmosphere and the food is great. It is also a short distance to some favorite shops of mine so that is a plus.

Needless to say we had a great Valentine's Day. Kris is truly an amazing man and I am so blessed and fortunate to have him for my husband and as the father of my children. I am so privileged to say that after almost 7 years of marriage we are still very happy and very much in love.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! I'll try to post some cute pictures of the boys tomorrow if I have a chance...........after all it is Wy's first V-day!

Almost Valentine's Day!

And I must say that I am an absolute "girl" on any romantic holiday....as much as I know it is super cheesy, I just can't help myself. This year was fun because I got to buy something for all of my boys!

But today is not only almost Valentine's day, it is Wyatt's 9 month birthday.....my boy is getting SO big...and getting into SO much! But we are in love with him just the same and are amazed at what a good, mild mannered boy he is turning into. It is funny to watch Owen and Wyatt and see their differences! Owen is totally a Moskal and Wyatt (as of now) is totally a Young. Good qualities on both sides of course but Owen is going to be my "chatty Kathy" while Wyatt is going to be my "mellow fellow".

Owen Man

What a stinker my little man is! He came down two nights this week with my perfume and make-up on his face! He was so proud and when questioned about why he did what he did, his response was "because I wanted to look pretty." I guess I'm not really sure why he thinks that I put lip gloss on my eyebrows, but hey the less he understands about make-up placement, the happier I am!

This week

has been a little rough....I had three appointments at UofM this week. I called on Monday to see if I could get in to see my Rheumatologist a week early due to increased swelling, pain and discomfort in my wrists, hands, fingers and elbows. Also my feet have been a bit tender but my main concern were my hands, since well let's face it, you need to use your hands about every second as a mom of a 3 1/2 year old and 9 month old.

I was pleased that they were able to see me a week early. I walked in and again my doctor was a little surprised. I just seem to have her 100% stumped. I also found out at this visit that the doctor who discharged me from the hospital had me on the wrong (lower) dose of the Plaquenil so I received a new script for the correct dose (double what I had been taking for about a month). I was a little bit disappointed but also reassured that this mistake was found and corrected. I was also told to increase my Prednisone yet again. That's how it seems to go for me....I taper down to the lowest dose and then within a day or two have a bad flare-up and have to increase back to a high amount to manage my swelling. I was also hoping that the doctor would be able to inject steroids directly into my wrists or at least the more swollen of the two, however this was not an option because I had so many joints affected at this visit, both my doctor (a Fellow) and the MD believed that I had too much inflammation going on to prove this effective.

They also both decided at this visit that I would need to start the "strong" medication. I have had to do a lot of research on this medication and frankly it scares me out of my mind. It is called Methotrexate and was/is used as a chemotherapy drug. I will be giving myself injections once a week and was told about all of the side effects including but not limited to nausea, diarrhea and hair "thinning". I absolutely must not get pregnant while on this medication due to "severe" birth defects it can cause. Oh, and I must "keep out of reach" from the boys as it is extremely toxic. As much as I wish I didn't have to start this medication I also SO badly want to kick this in the butt and have relief that I'm willing to try almost anything.

My rheum also did more blood tests, a common practice when I see her. I think that the only thing that came back low was my iron, so now I have a new label.....Iron Deficient Anemia. I will have to take iron pills which can make me feel bloated. I'm praying not as I have tried my hardest not to let the steroids do anything drastic to my body. I long to be in shape and fit and at least look good on the outside for my husband and boys. It is very important to me and I think I would feel even more defeated if I gained a bunch of weight that I had no control over.....and since I can't easily work-out, I'm limited to "healthy" food....blah!

I also met with the Nephrology team this week who said that it seems like there may be some kidney involvement going on.....you see vasculitis is a small blood vessel disease and your kidney's involve small blood vessels, so why not?? We already know that it affected my colon so why not the kidneys? I think I had these docs stumped too! Everyone gives me about 100+ questions about family history and are just in shock when I continually answer "no" to:

1) no one has an auto-immune disorder
2) no one has colitis, chrones or inflammatory bowel disease
3) no one has vasculitis
4) no one has kidney issues
5) etc, etc, etc!

So now I will be followed by my rheum doctor, nephrology doc and gastro doc......

As always I am trying to stay positive and upbeat about everything I have been told. I know that I am 100% blessed and know that God has given me this God willing "temporary" disease for a reason.... I feel like it is to bring me closer to him, I started reading my Bible this week....one thing that I say that I am going to do over and over but yet it doesn't really happen. I want to be able to teach Owen and Wyatt about God's Word and be confident in what I am telling them. I want to live my life as a better Christian, a better wife and a better mom.

Thanks for reading my feelings for the day....it is early on a Sunday morning and as usual I can't sleep. My heart has been heavy for about a week now after learning about a tragic accident and I think that I am just flooded with emotion and desire to improve my relationship with God and my family............at the end of the day nothing else matters if you are in good standing with God!

I love The Children's Place

I ran up to The Children's Place today to get a birthday present and came home with all of the above for about $25.00......everything you see was $2.99 each and then I had a 25% off coupon. The quality of their clothes are awesome...I was SO happy with my super deal I got today! I stocked up on some fall church clothes for Owen and lots of sweatshirts for both Owen and Wyatt. I just LOVE what I found for them!!!

Brothers

Here are the boys hanging out on the Snow Day today! Still in their PJ's too! What a great way to spend the day....hanging out in the nice warm house in our pajamas.

Kris was outside plowing the driveway for over two hours today. He said he thinks we got between 12-13 inches. It wasn't the blizzard we were anticipating but we got a lot of snow and it is still coming down now.....

Hope you are all enjoying your snow day today!