another random post.....

not too much to write or say this morning.............i promise for those of you who don't want to read my heavier posts that i will be posting pics/stories of the boys soon.

a funny story is going to be at the end of this post, i promise! but for now here are my thoughts and feelings for the last week and a half. i can tell you that i'm not proud of how i've acted or responded to my boys and kris the past few weeks. i have a heavy heart and it is my goal and desire to work on my relationships with those i love the most.

**Side Note**
my parents have been on vacation for the last week and a half......Kris' mom has been tied up with Kris' grandma who is recovering from back surgery and Kris has been working long hours as usual and not getting home until after the boys are in bed or only has about a half hour to an hour before their bed time. so needless to say the past almost two weeks have been really trying for me as a mom. i have become "comfortable" with the help that i receive from my awesome support system, so after going it alone for almost two weeks i feel like i am ten steps away of my goal at becoming a better mom and a better wife.

of course it hasn't helped that i am not sleeping and that i haven't been feeling 100% despite all of the new/increased medication i have been taking. and also the fact that i have a big report due at work hasn't helped either. i feel defeated again and i hate feeling defeated. i need to stay strong for my boys and my husband. i need them to know that i am okay on the outside and can maintain my "super woman" status as my mom would say. i need them to see that i can still work, cook, clean, do laundry, take out the trash, pay the bills, etc....in other words them being able to physically see me do these things makes me feel less defeated, like everything will be okay someday in terms of my health even if it isn't now. you see i don't want Owen or Wyatt or Kris to remember this time of my life when all i did or wanted to do was complain at how bad i feel and lay in bed all day.....and i'm terrified that if i admit defeat that i will end up 20 steps back and not be able to HANDLE everything like i can now.

So my parents are HOME, yay! And I think that Kris' mom is going to be able to take the kids again one day during the week (hopefully this coming week), and Kris has his spring break in a week so he will be home for a whole week. so needless to say things are looking bright again, thank God! We are going to a water park with the boys and I am so excited for our little vacation after being so physically and emotionally drained lately!

Funny Story Alert!
After hearing about how much I was struggling with Owen and Wyatt this week my parents came and took the boys ALL day yesterday. they made me promise that i wouldn't work and that i would take a nap and have some "me time". Me time is what i did and it was AMAZING!!

I had an eye doctor appointment yesterday to make sure that the new meds I'm on are not affecting my vision so after the appointment i headed over to my parents to see how things were going.

While there Owen came into the dining room and was talking to nana and playing with some toys. He had just gotten done painting a Thomas picture on the computer and was asking my mom to please go print it off for him, to which my mom responded that it "was going to cost him" in other words she would print it off for him but he had to give her a kiss. he didn't understand what she was talking about so when she said "yes Owen I will go upstairs and print off your Thomas picture for you but first it's going to cost you." His response was "seven dollars??" with the most serious look on his face!

It was the cutest, funniest thing that I have seen in a while! Enjoy my little boys innocence! He is so stink'n cute!